Note from editor: Many Muslim women are leading lives of single mothers while being married. It is common for their husbands to live and work in a different country for several months at a time, visiting the wife and children for a few weeks every year. In this article by Husna, one of our readers, we get a rare first person insight into how a woman lives alone, caring for the elderly and bringing up the children all on her own while maintaining her taqwa and deen.
It is not easy for the husband also to stay isolated from his family and work hard to earn the bread and butter for the family. But, the bigger responsibility of the family lies in the hands of the woman. Being a home maker, right from the basic things like groceries, utilities , house-keeping , maintenance and of course- the biggest responsibility of the children.
Everything is important but her main priority is the upbringing of children; if she has more than two kids, it gets quite difficult to manage. Right from their basics, to their education and their recreation, each & every aspect is very important. It is not so easy as it seems to handle everything alone. Of course , the responsibility lies with the home maker to make all this happen. An added responsibility is if she has to even take care of either or both of her in-laws as well. And if they are elderly or sick, it gets more difficult for her to manage, because she already has children to take care of and if willingly, she agrees to take care of the in-laws, indeed the reward for it is great from Allah SWT: Whoever does good, whether male or female, and is a believer, We shall certainly make him live a good life, and We shall certainly give them their reward for the best of what they did (Holy Qur’an, 16:97).
But! my dear friends, she is not answerable if she cannot take care of them. It is the duty of the children to take care of their parents when they grow old. However, as per Islam , the responsibility of a wife is to take good care and proper upbringing of YOUR children not your parents. And is certainly very difficult for her and over-burdening her when she is handling everything entirely all alone! We must appreciate it if women willingly agree to take care of them.
Here would like to shed some light on this aspect from the society’s point of view. If anything goes wrong… they are the first to blame the daughter-in-law- that she hasn’t taken care of them properly, she is careless, or irresponsible! Well… calm down.. let us not be judgmental about anyone unless we know what struggles they are going through. This is a matter of concern in many households nowadays… lets understand each others responsibilities and understand our priorities in life the proper Islamic way and maintain peace.
Understanding each other, sharing the burdens and solving their problems makes life easier for us also in this world and in the hereafter. Let's make this world a better place to live in … May Allah Swt bless each of us to guide our children on the path of Islam and help us in their upbringing in the proper Islamic way… Aameen!